hopeless 
state
5.5h asleep
7h awake

doctor referred me to the long covid clinic, and it hit me like a ton of bricks, rekindling all of my grief and and hopelessness over loss of autonomy.

cried for most of yesty. panic, fear, severe anxiety. depersonalization, dissociation, derealization, time dilation.

im so terribly sad. nothing is helping. my usual antidepressants aren't. dbt skills aren't. im not giving up yet but this is just way too hard!

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2021-09-09
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